


Further Precautions

by Profitmom



Series: Precautions [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s05e10 Counterpoint, F/M, Friendship/Love, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 00:46:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2046636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Profitmom/pseuds/Profitmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chakotay and Kathryn thought they could weather any storm, but as she is forced to play into the hands of another tensions get high. Chakotay has difficulty handling Kathryn and Kashyk. Part 2 of Precautions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Precautions Part 2

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote Precautions, I didn't realize the story wasn't finished. My muse and my writing partner had different ideas. I think this could stand alone from this point, but if you wanted to (it would be great) read Precautions first.

Humidity hung in the air of the gym as sweat poured off Chakotay. He was exhausted, but maybe this time it would help him sleep. 

Images of Kathryn flashed in his mind: her smiling at Kashyk, touching his shoulder, giving him her sexy half smile. 

Anger exploded.

The consecutive and rhythmic thwacks of his fist connecting with flesh resounded off the walls of the boxing ring at Star Fleet.  
A shrill whistle pierced through the red haze of anger. 

Boothby’s slight form wedged between Chakotay and his opponent. If the holographic figure resembled Kashyk, there was no one around to mention that little indulgence. 

“Easy, son. He’s had enough,” the older holographic man said gruffly. 

Kathryn had done too well a job programing the holo-program. 

“Computer, delete Boothby character.” Fatherly advice was not what he needed tonight. He needed an outlet. He needed to beat the crap out of something. He needed to get rid of this anger so he could go and mop up the pieces of Tom’s disgusting plan.

He landed another right cross to his holographic opponent’s mid-section. Chakotay was rewarded with a groan and a whoosh of expelled air. Holo-Kashyk retreated a step. Another blow delivered. 

Holo-Kashyk took another step back and found his avenue of escaped blocked by the ropes. Pleasure, and not for the first time, bloomed inside Chakotay and he pressed his advantage. He threw a series of punches and jabs each aimed to do the most damage to his opponent’s face. 

“Computer, delete my boxing gloves.” The computer followed the command and Chakotay was left bare knuckled. Skin on skin, the impact of the assault raised his dopamine levels. He smiled.

Not even when he’d gotten the gruesome news of the Maquis’ slaughter had he needed, craved this much violence. Felt this uncontrolled rage. Kashyk and Kathryn had stripped away layers of peace to expose the raw anger she’d help him subdue.

But he needed to purge himself of the anger. He needed to be there for her.

Each passing day with that man on the ship became harder and harder. Watching her pretend to—he couldn’t even bring himself to think about what she was doing with Kashyk without the blinding rage coming full force. Yet, each night he’d held her and consoled her. 

The hits came harder and faster. Even when the hologram slumped to the mat, Chakotay followed him down and continued the assault, which was what this had become. It wasn’t an even match. It was a gutter fight, a slaughter. Anything. Just so he could vent his anger and be able to be there for Kathryn. 

“Computer, end program.” Her voice rang out.

Holo-Kashyk, a bloody heap, vanished, then the ring and the walls of the Star Fleet boxing gym. Everything dissolved until only Kathryn and Chakotay remained in the empty grid covered holodeck.

His panting was the only sound to fill the now empty area. Kathryn turned on her heal and walked away. Self-loathing and disgust charged through Chakotay. 

How had he let her down so completely?

He hung his head. An internal rant directed at himself: how could he be such an insensitive fool? She was trying to save the lives of her crew and the refugees and here he was being eaten alive with jealousy. What right did he have to feel this way?

So lost in his own thoughts, that when she reached for his hand, he almost jumped. She hadn’t left.

Kathryn had retrieved the med kit from the bay unit and now stood examining his bruised hand. Her bent head only reached his chin. The fragrant smell of her lilac shampoo assailed his nostrils. He took a deep breath wanting to inhale the sweet scent that he’d come to know as uniquely Kathryn.

Her red silky hair was slightly damp. She had bathed. Sorrow twisted inside of him. She had confessed to him that first night that she had to bathe to rid herself of Kashyk’s scent in order to sleep.

Anger streaked through him but was pushed aside by guilt. He was supposed to be there for her, not the other way around. He tried to pull his hand back, but Kathryn gripped it tighter. Silently she used the dermal regenerator to heal the damage his irrational anger had caused.

First one hand then the other. 

When she raised her gaze to meet his, she avoided direct eye contact. Instead she sought out the damaged areas of the few lucky punches holo-Kashyk had been able to land. When he was healed to her satisfaction, she released his chin and returned the med kit to its former location. 

“Kathryn.” His voice croaked. He could hardly recognize it himself. 

Shoulders squared, captain’s mask firmly in place, she turned around to face him.

“Don’t.”

Crossing her hands in front of her, she spoke, “don’t what?”

“Close off. I want… I am here for you.” He was afraid to move as he tried to swallow down the anger that he’d let run free. Never had he wanted her to witness his loss of control. Conflicting desires held his feet in place. 

He wanted to go to her and hold her like she had needed him these past nights. He wanted to punch his fist into the nearest bulk head for allowing her to see his turbulent emotions. He wanted to find Q and make sure Voyager had never entered Devore space so Kathryn was never put in this position in the first place. He wanted, most of all, to rewind the last hour so he would have been waiting for her in her cabin not indulging in self-pity. 

No, he could not have seen her an hour ago. 

She turned again and headed for the holodeck doors.

“Can we talk about this? I should have... done better. Been better. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about? I don’t think either one of us really understood what this deception cost. There was no way to take any precautions against feelings. But, we’ve found the coordinates of the wormhole just now… Kashyk and I. If any double cross is going to take place it should be soon. Chakotay, can we get through this?” She hadn’t turned around when she had spoken.

Guilt like a fist plowed into him. “Yes. Together?”

She turned around. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes and nodded.


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kashyk has left and Kathryn seals their parting with a kiss. But what does that kiss cost her? And what does it cost Chakotay? Will their relationship be able to survive the aftermath?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and thanks so much to KMDWriterGrl for being an amazing beta reader and hand holder and helping me get Tuvok right. I would NOT be posting if not for you help!

Kathryn had to resist the urge to wipe her mouth. She couldn’t. It would make her look weak and they were watching on the monitors. Every ounce of Star Fleet training and discipline kept her shoulders straight, head high and a calm expression on her face. Now if only she could manage to get back to her quarters before the bile from her stomach rose any higher. She fought to keep from becoming physically ill and just made it to her cabin before she lost the fight.

/ ^\  
Chakotay gripped the edge table. If he’d been alone, he probably would have driven his fist into the closest bulkhead. Or through the display screen. But he wasn’t alone. The unemotional Vulcan on his right never would have condoned much less understood the amount of anger that coursed through Chakotay at that moment.  
Anger not only fueled by unreasonable jealousy but the frustration of being impotent and unable to protected his Kathryn from having to play this stupid game of cat and mouse. They never should have followed Tom’s plan.

It had been a necessary precaution to monitor Kashyk’s final moments on Voyager. Anything could have gone wrong in this high stakes subterfuge. But the passionate kiss Kathryn had given Kashyk was hard to watch. Even harder to stomach. 

“Commander, I believe it would prudent for you to meet with the Captain now that she has returned to her quarters.” Tuvok’s crisp utilitarian voice shocked him out of his reverie. 

“What did you just say?” Stunned, all he could do was star at the Vulcan.

Tuvok’s gaze never wavered as he repeated his statement then added, “While the Captain is one of the most strong-willed individuals I have ever encountered, it would be foolish to pretend that she does not have moments of vulnerability. Given the unsettling nature of the subterfuge she is currently engaged in, it is apparent that she will require both aid and counsel to see this through to its logical conclusion. Although she often seeks my counsel on a great many topics, you, Commander, would be better suited to offer her guidance at this juncture more than I.”

Anger all but forgotten, Chakotay couldn’t begin to form a response to Tuvok’s suggestion. Was the man actually encouraging Chakotay to go and… ‘offer aid and counsel’ to Kathryn? He wouldn’t have been as shocked if Tuvok had asked him to jump out the nearest air lock.

Shaking his head to clear it, Chakotay stilled hesitated. Was he ready to go to Kathryn and help her through this? Would his comfort even be accepted? After she had witnessed his anger on the holodeck, she’d been distant and aloof. 

“Commander,” Tuvok prompted. “You are hesitant, may I ask why?”

Tuvok couldn’t possibly understand how it felt to watch the woman he loved kiss another man with that much passion. Logically, Chakotay knew that Kathryn was acting. Not only that, he knew she in no way enjoyed it, rather she hated herself for the role she was playing, but by the spirits the kiss had looked too real. How could he explain his conflicting emotions to an unfeeling man?

“I want to go to her but I don't know what to say, Tuvok. That kiss…” Giving voice to his fear eased it some. Chakotay hung his head.

“That kiss was a necessary ploy to ensure Kashyk’s belief that he has the upper hand in this situation. It in no way represents the captain’s true feelings.” Tuvok studied Chakotay. “I have had the opportunity to observe and interact with the captain for many years now and I have gained a great deal of insight into her. It is rare that she places her trust so completely in another person as she has with you, Commander. The bond between you is undeniable.”

Chakotay’s necked snapped up and stared once more dumbfounded at the Vulcan. 

“As a former captain yourself, you understand the importance of having a crewmember you can implicitly trust. You have become that person for the captain. It is imperative then that you be the one to guide her through her feelings the current situation. My counsel will be of little use in this matter as her current difficulty lies in matters of emotion, rather than logic. You must put aside your conflicting emotions.”

Still speechless, Chakotay gave a small chuckle. Nothing like being put in you place by a logical Vulcan. Nodding, he turned to leave the captain’s ready room but stopped and turned to face Tuvoc.

Over the last years, there had been little love loss between the men but today, Tuvok’s undeniable logic had given him the much needed push to find perspective. “I can see why Kathryn depends on you, Tuvok.”

“And I you, Commander.”

Finding his first true smile in days, Chakotay left the ready room and made his way to the captain’s quarters. 

/^\  
The cold rag felt soothing to Kathryn against her lips. She’d rinsed her mouth several times and had even brushed her teeth to the point of them almost bleeding; yet the taste of bile and Kashyk lingered. She sat on her couch feet tucked under her, her robe wrapped tightly around her, a storm of emotions rolling inside of her. 

“Captain’s Log supplemental. We’ve found the coordinates of wormhole to safely get the Brenari out of the reach of the Devore Imperium. But we were unable to get past the Devore line of defense. Kashyk has left Voyager, he said, to be able to expedite our inspection and make it to the wormhole in enough time. It’ll be only a few hours before we truly know if our plan was a success or if he was sincere with his desire in wanted asylum. Computer pause recording.”

What if they’d been wrong?

The question had been jumping around her head since she heard Tom’s plan. 

What if she’d… compromised herself for nothing? Doubt laced with self-recriminations twisted inside and threated to bring up what little remained in her stomach. How would she catalogue this in her captain’s log? Would she dare? If they ever made it home, what would the board of inquiry think of her actions on this mission?

No, she’d not crossed any moral line. Pushing those pointless thoughts from her mind, she reached for her tea and leaned back into the couch. Normally coffee would have been a companion on nights like this where she’d question every decision she made.

But on the last few nights, when Chakotay had joined her, he’d insisted that tea would be far more soothing. 

Tonight, the tea wasn’t helping. Yet, deep down she knew it wasn’t the tea Chakotay offered but his unwavering support that she was doing the right thing that had helped her sleep and lay these demons aside.

After her horrible bought with depression when they had been stuck in the Void, she’d promised not only her herself but Chakotay too that she would not close herself off, but what else could she do?

The image of Chakotay fighting last night flashed in her mind. No, she couldn’t put this on him.

She had made the decision and she would live with whatever…side effects that came. Alone.

Everything she’d done, it had been for Voyager.

“Computer resume recording.” She swallowed and gathered her courage.

But none came. 

Walking over to her port window, she stared out at the stars and allowed the condemnations to wash over her. What kind of woman would feign interest in man to get what she wanted?

Kathryn knew the answer and was scared that she now fell into that category. Never in her career had she compromised her values or herself to get ahead. Guilt and shame dragged her further into a depression.

The chime for her door sounded as she was lost in thought. She didn’t answer.

When it sounded again she closed her eyes and rested her head against the window. 

“Override authorization, Chakotay Beta One.” The computer droned and the doors whooshed open. 

“Kathryn?” Desperation sounded in her first officer’s voice.

Chakotay searched the darken cabin and found the silhouette of Kathryn against the backdrop of her window. She looked small and vulnerable. Her head was bowed and her arms were wrapped tightly around her middle. He’d noticed before but it was very apparent tonight that she had lost weight. 

With the soothing tones one would use with a frighten animal, Chakotay asked, “Are you all right, Kathryn? Why didn’t you let me in?”

“I’m fine, commander. You did not have to go to the trouble of breaking into my quarters.”

Moving closer to her, he grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the chair. When he was close enough, he wrapped both the blanket and his arms around her.  
She was stiff at first, but in a few moments she relaxed into his embrace. They stayed like that for some time. He felt the tears before he heard them. Light drops falling on his hands. 

“How can you stand to be here?” She whispered.

He squeezed her and placed a small kiss on her hair. “Where else would I want to be?”

Her shoulders slumped then she turned in his arms. “I saw you last night, remember. Chakotay, I’ve never seen you like that before. I barely can stand myself; I can’t imagine how you can look at me?”

His hands slipped down to her arms and he took a step back so he was face to face with her. He needed her to understand. “Kathryn, you are one of the bravest, most honorable women I’ve have ever known. Last night was not about you. I’m sorry that you had to see that but it was about my shortcomings not yours.”

She wrenched herself out of his arms. “You don’t have to lie to me. Chakotay, you couldn’t even look at me.”

“I was ashamed.”

“Of me.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Kathryn. I was ashamed of me. I made you a promise and it was getting harder and harder to keep it.”

“Because you didn’t approve of what I’ve been doing? Why didn’t you say that at the beginning?”

“There was no other plan I could think of, I just didn’t…I just didn’t know how it would make me feel.”

“How it made you feel? What do you think this has been doing to me?”

“I know exactly what it’s been doing to you and that’s why it has been killing me. I don’t want...” He searched for the right words. He was messing this up.

“You don’t want what, me to slip into a depression? Hide myself in my quarters? I’ll be fine. Maybe you should just leave. I promise not to go crazy again.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Kathryn, turn around and look at me.” He seldom if ever used at tone with her but this wasn’t going the way he’d expected.

Slowly she turned.

He took a deep breath. “Kathryn, I was jealousy. Pure and simple. And yes, I was angry.”

“At me?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

He rubbed his hand over his head and then his face. “Yes, but not for the reasons you think.” He rushed out before she could second guess him. “I was angry at you because of your parameters that won’t allow us to be together. Kashyk or anyone else would never have thought it possible to try to seduce you if everyone knew you were mine. I love you. I respect your boundaries and your reasons for them; but, being in a relationship with me would have protected you from this situation. I could have protected you. And I was angry that I couldn’t.”

“Chakotay—“

“Kim to Janeway.”

“Go ahead.” 

“Captain, we’re being hailed. Devore inspection teams are ten minutes out.” Ensign Kim’s voice broke through the silence. 

“Understood. Is everything ready?"

"Aye, Captain."

"I’ll be right there.” She turned to Chakotay. “I…”

“Need to get dressed. We need to finish this.” With that, he left her quarters.


	3. Conclusion of the Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All's well that ends well. But Kathryn still can't quite let it go.

“Well played, Captain.” Kashyk’s look of defeat almost made it all worth up. 

Almost.

The dark shadows of the Devore Inspectors as they left the bridge would haunt her for a while. 

“It seems that I never really earned your trust.”

She shifted in her chair. “I had to take a few precautions, you understand.”

“Better than anyone. The bridge is yours.” He stood and left her alone.

That’s how he found her: alone, in Chakotay’s chair rather than the captain’s one, sitting in the dark, music still filling the ship. As the other bridge officers filed out of the turbo lift behind Chakotay, the captain seemed to snap back to herself.

She stood. “Mr. Paris, as soon as the Devore ships have left, set coordinates to get us out of this part of space. Warp 8. Commander, you have the bridge.”

She walked into her Ready Room and the doors closed behind her. 

Chakotay waited for everyone to get their bearings back before he left the bridge as well. “Tuvok, you have the bridge.”

Approaching the doors of the ready room, he paused not knowing what he would find. The doors opened for him at the first chime.

“Captain,” Chakotay stepped into the ready room. The lights were down in here as they were when he’d first entered the bridge.

She sat with her head in her hands on her sofa.

“Are you all right, Kathryn?” He approached her slowly. He didn’t know what to say. For all intents and purposes their ploy had worked, the Brenari were safe, and as per her order, Tom was getting them far away from the Imperium at top speed. 

Still silent. He joined her on her couch. They sat there for some time. Chakotay stretched out his arm across the back of the sofa. Moments later, she clutched at his hand and just held it. Again they sat together. 

“Is everyone ok?” 

He smiled. Figured her first request would be about her crew. “Yes, they corralled us all into the shuttle bays while they searched the ship. The soldiers were pretty focused in their search so Kashyk must have given them exact details about who and what to look for.”

She nodded. “However am I going to put all of this in my log?”

“The truth: the crew worked together to outsmart a hostile military force that wanted to imprison innocents. And if not for some quick thinking and effective planning our mission would have failed.”

Turning to face him, she said, “You make it sound heroic.”

He squeezed her hand. “Kathryn, it was. And now it’s over.”

The desire to pull her into his arms was great but he held off, not wanting to over step his bounds. All he wanted to do was sooth and comfort her to remove the hollow look on her face. Chakotay was still disappointed in himself for letting his jealousy stand in the way of being a source of strength for her. “I know you haven’t eaten in some time. Join me for dinner.”

She raised her free hand to cup his cheek.

Unable to help himself, he turned and placed a kiss on the inside of her palm. 

Kathryn scooted over, closing the distance between them and settled herself into the crook of his arm. She sighed as he wrapped both arms firmly around her. 

A rightness and contentedness settled over him. 

“Part of my…desolation about this mission was that I made you feel that way. Lose the control you prize so much, Chakotay. You are very understanding about respecting how I feel about having a romantic relationship between us. Keeping you at arm’s length yet knowing if I was fair, I’d not rely on you so much. Allow you to move on.”

“I like where I am just fine. For now. I fully expect you to get us home, and then watch out, lady. I’m going to pursue you so hard you won’t know what hit you.” He chuckled hoping to lighten the mood some.

She rewarded him with a soft laugh. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Good. Now let’s go see what…wonders Neelix has left for us to eat.”

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.


End file.
